What You Tolerate, You Teach: Taking Control of Your Life Through Boundary Setting

by | Jan 30, 2023


What do you tolerate in your life? The people you allow around you? The situations you put up with?

If you’re not happy with the answer, it might be time to start setting boundaries.

Setting boundaries can be difficult, but it’s essential for taking control of your life. When you set boundaries, you’re sending a clear message that says “This is how I want to be treated,” or “This is not acceptable.”

When done correctly, boundary setting can improve your relationships, make you happier, and help you achieve your goals. But it can also be challenging to figure out what boundaries work for you. In this article, we’ll discuss the basics of boundary setting and offer some tips on how to get started.

What Is Boundary Setting and Why Is It Important?

Think about the last time someone said or did something that really upset you. Chances are, you let them know that you didn’t appreciate it. And what did that person do? They probably apologized and tried to make things right.

Why? Because you set a boundary.

Setting boundaries is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It’s the act of communicating your limits and expectations to others, and it’s what allows you to take control of your life. When you set boundaries, you’re telling the world (and yourself) that you’re not going to put up with anything less than what you deserve. You’re in charge.

But boundary setting can be tough, especially if you’re not used to doing it. It’s easy to let people walk all over you, especially if you’re afraid of confrontation or don’t want to rock the boat. But by setting boundaries, you’re not only protecting yourself, but also sending a message loud and clear that you will not tolerate anything less than respect.

Identifying When Boundary Setting Is Necessary

The first step in taking control of your life is identifying when boundary setting is necessary.

You might need to set boundaries with friends, family, or colleagues. It’s possible you need to set limits on how much you do for others, or how much you let others do for you. You might need to start saying no to requests that are not a priority for you.

Learning to set boundaries can be difficult, but it’s an essential step on the road to taking control of your life. When you know your limits and what’s important to you, it becomes easier to make decisions that are right for you.

Learning to Say No Without Guilt

It’s not easy to say no. We’re taught that it’s impolite and that we should always put others first. But what happens when you keep saying yes to things you don’t actually want to do? You end up resenting the people you said yes to, and you’re left feeling drained and unhappy.

That’s why it’s so important to learn to say no without feeling guilty. You need to start setting boundaries for yourself and learn to stick to them. This is something that takes time and practice, but eventually, it will become second nature.

The best way to start is by identifying the things that are important to you and the things that you’re not willing to compromise on. From there, you can start creating a list of boundaries that reflect those values. Be honest with yourself, and remember that it’s okay to change your mind later on.

The most important thing is that you take control of your life and learn to say no without guilt.

Strategies for Setting Boundaries With Those in Your Life

If you’re finding it difficult to set boundaries in your life, consider working with a qualified life coach like Coach Ai. Having an objective third party to talk through your issues can help you gain the confidence to stand up for yourself and set proper limits. A life coach can also help you identify which strategies will work best for you given the circumstances of your particular situation.

Some strategies for setting boundaries that Coach Ai might recommend include establishing non-negotiables, practicing self-care, being assertive but kind when necessary, recognizing when it’s time to walk away, and keeping a consistent message. You don’t have to do any of these things alone — working with a qualified coach like Coach Ai can provide invaluable support and guidance as you learn how to take back control of your life through boundary setting.

Tips for Holding Your Ground When Faced With Pushback

It can be difficult to hold your ground when someone is trying to push you around. Here are a few tips on how to do it:

  • Speak up when you feel uncomfortable. If someone crosses the line and is making you feel uncomfortable, tell them. Don’t be afraid to use “I statements” such as “I don’t like this or I’m not comfortable with this”.
  • Take a deep breath. Stress can make it difficult to stay firm and can also bring out our worst reactions. Taking a deep breath before responding will help you stay in control of the situation and make sure that your reactions are appropriate for the situation.
  • Know when to walk away. Sometimes we may find ourselves in situations where we have no choice but to end the conversation and walk away. It’s important to know when it’s time to walk away rather than continue the argument, especially if it’s getting heated or out of hand.

Remember, setting boundaries is an important part of taking control of your life and feeling good about yourself!

How to Love Yourself Through Boundary Setting

Boundary setting is not only about protecting yourself, but also about learning to love yourself. Knowing your boundaries and setting them with others is the only way you can truly understand love and respect yourself. It’s essential to your mental health and overall wellbeing that you love yourself first.

One way to do this is to make sure that you are setting boundaries with those in your life that you feel are taking advantage of you, or those who are not respecting your feelings or needs. Prioritizing your own wellbeing should be a top priority for you. This will help build strong relationships moving forward, as it’ll give others a clear idea of what is expected from them when it comes to interacting with you.

Additionally, Coach Ai offers one-on-one sessions that will provide insight into how effective boundary setting can positively impact your life. You will learn invaluable tools that will help redirect negative patterns and create positive environments in all facets of your life. Through cognitive therapy techniques, the sessions will equip you with the understanding of why it’s necessary to set boundaries and how to do so in order to achieve personal growth.


When it comes down to it, you are the only one who can truly take care of yourself. You have to be willing to set boundaries and learn to say no in order to protect yourself and find happiness. It may not be easy, but it’s worth it. You deserve to be happy and healthy, and that can only happen when you take control of your life.

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