As we step into 2026, I want to invite you to begin the year with a mindset that is often misunderstood—but deeply freeing:
Acceptance.
Acceptance is not giving up.
Acceptance is not weakness.
Acceptance is taking your power back.
After more than 20 years in mental health practice, with intensive training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), one truth has remained consistent across the people I work with—parents, leaders, professionals, and teenagers alike:
We exhaust ourselves trying to control things that were never within our control.
Other people’s reactions.
Their assumptions.
Their interpretations of our intentions.
And the price we pay for this constant struggle is often our peace.
What CBT Teaches Us About Control and Peace
One of the core principles of CBT is learning to distinguish between what we can control and what we cannot.
You cannot control:
- How others perceive you
- Whether people misunderstand you
- The stories others tell about your actions
But you can control:
- Your thoughts
- Your boundaries
- Your response
- Your inner dialogue
This truth can be uncomfortable—but it is also empowering.
You can be kind and still be misunderstood.
You can be honest and still be judged.
You can do your best and still disappoint someone.
That does not mean you failed.
It means you are human.
A Composite Client Story
I once worked with a client—actually, many clients whose stories sound like this.
They said:
“I keep explaining myself. I keep adjusting. I keep fixing things. But they still see me the wrong way.”
This person was a parent, a leader, and someone others relied on.
They were exhausted—not because they were doing too little, but because they were giving too much energy to things they could not control.
Through CBT work, a painful but freeing realization emerged:
“I’m trying to control how others see me so I can feel okay about myself.”
That insight changed everything.
Acceptance did not mean agreeing with unfair judgments.
Acceptance meant saying:
“I know my intention. I’ve done my part. I don’t need to fight this to prove my worth.”
“It Is What It Is” — Reframed
The phrase “It is what it is” is often spoken with resignation.
But here is the empowered version:
“It is what it is—and I decide what I do next.”
Acceptance is not passive.
It is strategic.
It sounds like:
- “I know my values.”
- “I have shown up with integrity.”
- “I don’t need everyone’s approval to move forward.”
This mindset is especially important for:
- Parents raising children who are often misunderstood
- Leaders making difficult decisions
- Teenagers learning that not everyone will like them—and that this is okay
The Only Thing You Truly Control
As you begin 2026, remember this:
The only thing you truly control is your inner world.
Not the narratives others create.
Not the assumptions they hold.
But you do control:
- Your boundaries
- Your self-talk
- Your peace
Peace is not something you wait for.
Peace is something you protect.
A Faith-Based Perspective
Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 4:23:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Notice the wisdom here.
It does not say guard your reputation or guard what people think.
It says: guard your heart.
This means:
- Not everyone deserves access to your emotional energy
- Not every misunderstanding requires a response
- Not every battle is yours to fight
Guarding your heart is not avoidance—it is wisdom.
A Guided Reflection
Pause for a moment.
Take a slow breath in…
And gently exhale.
Ask yourself:
- What am I still trying to control that is costing me peace?
- Who am I still trying to explain myself to, even when clarity may never come?
Now quietly say:
“I choose peace over proving.”
“I release what I cannot control.”
“I move forward grounded, not reactive.”
Closing Thoughts
As you enter 2026, remember this:
Acceptance is not weakness.
It is strength guided by wisdom.
It is freedom anchored in boundaries.
You do not need to be louder this year.
You do not need to explain more.
You simply need to be anchored.
May this year be one where you stop chasing peace—and start protecting it.